THE GIFT OF SENSITIVITY | Kirkus Reviews

Amber explains how her neurodivergence enables her to thrive.

In this self-help book, the author, a former business executive, describes her own experiences as a highly sensitive person (a recently defined condition in which, as she explains, “I see, taste, hear, smell, and feel many more stimuli than others, and I feel them more intensely”) and discusses how traits she has developed in response to this sensitivity, in addition to her studies in psychology and her professional experience, allow her to function more effectively in the world. Amber discusses how developing sensitivity skills can help others improve their experiences at work, in relationships, and in personal growth. She takes readers through an abbreviated version of her difficult childhood, marked by an often-unhappy home life (“The air of my real home was thick with tragedy, and life took place in dark violet hues, riddled with the pink scars of freshly healed newly obtained wounds”) that forced her to learn to adapt—it was a gradual process of discovering her interests and strengths, powered by a desire to share her insights with the wider world. The author outlines her educational path and her evolving professional life, highlighting the moments in which she made small decisions that would later turn out to be life-changing and life-defining. She encourages readers to pursue alternative methods of thinking, such as “mental time travel” (“You may also call it the process of remembering, which includes future episodes if you think of time as a cycle, not the arrow or line. Any mental trips generated, whether by AI virtual reality, imaginary, or life experiences, could be liberating, but it is a matter of emotional connection”) to better understand their own needs and desires, and to achieve their own moments of epiphany. Amber attributes much of her success in life to her heightened sensitivity and the related skills she developed. And she offers readers advice on strengthening their own perceptual abilities to improve their relationships with others and with the world at large.

The book offers a compelling perspective on the way a form of neurodivergence can ultimately drive effective adaptations rather than serve as a source of difficulty. The author concisely explains how her high sensitivity has been a net benefit: “It has given me the ability to foresee threats and the ability to be prepared, feeling opportunities and being ready to catch them.” The book is less effective at conveying background information—although it is clear that Amber grew up outside the United States, it is never stated where she spent her early years, making it difficult to contextualize the stories she tells about her childhood. Some readers may find the author’s approach to changing thought patterns a bit too esoteric for their tastes (“The one mastering sensitivity becomes a seeker of physical tensions, which embodies emotional attachments to situations”), though the language may feel familiar to self-help enthusiasts. Throughout the book, Amber makes clear her intention of helping readers with their problems, and that sense of generosity runs through the text, creating a welcoming environment.

A unique self-help book focused on the benefits of sensitivity.